


You Found Hell In Me

by honggjoongie



Series: As Above, So Below [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alpha Choi Jongho, Alpha Choi San, Alpha Jeong Yunho, Alpha Kim Hongjoong, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Beta Park Seonghwa, Beta Song Mingi, Fluff, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Omega Jung Wooyoung, Omega Kang Yeosang, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rimming, Self-Lubrication, Smut, Trauma, Wolf Pack, Woosan, jongsang, seongjoong, yungi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:21:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29772636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honggjoongie/pseuds/honggjoongie
Summary: "That’s why he finds himself in the pitch black of the woods, rough bark scraping against his back as he sobs into his hands, his chest heaving, because no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, and waits, and hopes, he still can’t do the one thing he was made to do."
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: As Above, So Below [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188209
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	You Found Hell In Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!! 
> 
> First of all, thank you SO much for all the love on the first part of this story, I’m absolutely blown away and beyond grateful. Second, I’m so so excited to finally be writing this story and sharing it with all of you, sorry it took so long, and thank you so much for waiting, I’ll do my best to make it worthwhile. 
> 
> I really hope you’ll love reading it as much as I’m loving writing it and exploring this world further. Enjoy!

Even after four years of waking up in San’s arms, Wooyoung still flutters with giddy happiness when he opens his eyes, senses flooded with cinnamon and his body wrapped in warmth. He nestles further against San, who shifts before blinking awake, warm eyes landing on Wooyoung. 

“Good morning handsome.” San’s voice is rough with sleep, a lazy smirk on his pink lips.

Wooyoung’s smile is wide, his head like cotton with utter relaxation, drowsiness still tugging at the edges of his mind. In lieu of answering, he presses his lips to San’s, a hum of appreciation low in his throat at the little sparks that cascade through him, dancing along his nerves, his lips tingling with affection. 

“We gotta get up.” San breathes against Wooyoung’s mouth. 

A whine slips through Wooyoung lips, and he pushes closer, his arms around San’s neck as he climbs on top of him. He explores San’s mouth, just as addicting as the first time, letting his softly curling desire guide him. San is heated against him, his scent mouthwatering, and Wooyoung can’t think of a single reason compelling enough for him to leave the bliss of their bed. 

“Mm, god Woo-” San manages between insistent kisses and kitten licks of Wooyoung’s tongue against his lips, “Joong’s gonna kick our asses.” 

That’s enough for Wooyoung to pause, pulling back with a pout. San looks equally as regretful that they have to part. There have been countless occasions of Hongjoong tearing them a new one when they couldn’t tear themselves away from each other, and Wooyoung’s not particularly itching for another exasperated reprimand from their head alpha about self control and responsibilities, each one punctuated with Hongjoong stomping away, his head shaking and a pointed “soulmates” muttered under his breath.

So, with endless grumbles from Wooyoung, making San chuckle fondly, the two of them climb out of bed and get ready for the day. San kisses him again before he has to leave, Wooyoung fisting his hand in his shirt and holding him close for a few extra moments before he lets him go. 

“I’ll see you tonight baby.” San smiles, Wooyoung refraining from poking his dimples like he so often does, to the playful annoyance of the alpha. 

“I love you, be safe.” He says instead.

“I love you too.” San’s smile softens, his eyes even softer. 

While San heads towards the forest to join the other hunters for the day, Wooyoung ventures the opposite direction, winding through the village. He waves and smiles at wolves as he walks, the morning air cool against his skin, the sounds of light chatter and birds chirping drifting with the breeze. When he reaches the fields, the endless rows of crops greet him like a familiar friend, making him feel serene. It’s almost second nature to grab the tools he needs and get to work, the normality reminding him of his first days on the job, when he’d fumbled between tools for hours, his cheeks dusted pink until he could get the hang of it. 

_ Just after him and San had gotten back from his old pack, the head alpha dead and his past effectively erased, he’d wandered across jobs and tasks, desperate to be useful but clueless as to where he fit in as they settled. Until months later, when San had been out hunting and Wooyoung grew restless, venturing past the huts aimlessly and stumbling to the outskirts where the fields stretched in front of him.  _

_ Curious, he sat in the grass and watched wolves walk up and down the rows with practiced ease. He had an apology on his tongue when a woman approached him, her hair pulled away from her face and dirt smeared on her clothes. He thought he’d gotten over being surprised by his new pack, but he still raised his eyebrows when her alpha scent reached him. _

_ “Do you want to help?” Her eyes were wide as she extended a tool to him that had a wooden handle with three prongs coming off of it.  _

_ “Um, s-sorry, I don’t know how.” Wooyoung confessed, looking down at his lap.  _

_ “I can show you, if you want.” Her offer was questioning, her tone inviting. Wooyoung smiled up at her. _

_ That’s how he wound up spending the remainder of the day harvesting potatoes, following the alpha’s careful directions. For hours he worked tirelessly, upturning the dirt and pulling the small vegetables from it with a surprisingly delicate touch so as not to harm the plants. By the time darkness crept across the sky Wooyoung was covered in sweat, his muscles aching, his skin heated by the sun and smeared with dirt. _

_ However, he met the others for dinner with a tired grin, recounting his day to San, whose proud smile made his omega preen and his chest puff out with delight. From then on it was easily decided that he was a farmer, his days filled with planting, tending to, and harvesting the crops. He quickly learned that there’s little that makes him more content than the feeling of digging his hands into the Earth and plucking the evidence of his hard work from it. Little that makes him feel more at home than being an integral piece of providing for his pack, his family. _

Pulling himself from his daydreams, he finishes his work for the day, his grumbling stomach urging him to move faster. After rushing to stop by the river to clean up first, he follows the rest of the wolves to the large building as the bell announcing dinner sounds through the village. He spots San, bounding over to him and throwing his arms over his shoulders, pressing his chest to the alpha’s back and nuzzling against him, breathing in his scent. San spins around in his hold, his hands winding around Wooyoung’s waist. 

“Hey you,” The alpha chuckles, deep and warm, “how was your day?”

Wooyoung captures San’s lips in a soft kiss before pulling back and intertwining their fingers, the pair falling in line to get their food. 

“It was good, but we lost even more of the vegetable plants. I don’t know what’s making them die, but I guess it just means we’ll have to plant even more.” Wooyoung remembers his confusion and disappointment from the day, followed by determination, “How was yours?” 

When his focus snaps back to San, there’s an almost haunted look on the alpha’s face, his eyes a million miles away.

“Sannie, you okay?” 

His words seem to break San out of whatever thoughts he was trapped in. 

“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m okay, sorry. Just spaced out for a second. My day was good too.” 

He smiles at Wooyoung, who’s still prickling with uncertainty, but he can’t sense any lingering concern from his mate through their bond, so he lets himself be appeased by San’s chocolate eyes and dimpled smile as they move forward in line. 

“Uncle Woo!” 

The glee filled squeal makes Wooyoung’s head turn and his eyes light up, “Seojunie!” 

He kneels down just in time for the toddler to bound up to him and jump in his arms. He hugs Seojun tightly before standing, holding his small hand in his. Seojun grabs San’s hand in his other one, beaming up at both of them with Jongho’s eyes and Yeosang’s pointed smile, practically bouncing where he’s standing.

“Uncle Sannie will you play hunters with me tonight?” Seojun pleads as he looks at the alpha, and Wooyoung’s heart melts. 

San’s eyes flit over to Wooyoung, worry on his face. Wooyoung knows he can smell the beginnings of his heat on him, and they’re both on edge waiting for it to hit. 

San’s features are the definition of regretful as he looks back at Seojun, “I don’t know about tonight Junie, I’m sorry.”

“But daddy never lets me play hunters with him.” Seojun pouts. 

San kneels so he’s at the toddler’s level, “How about this, if you wait a little longer and help your mommy with chores, then I’ll play hunters with you as soon as I can, okay?” 

Seojun nods eagerly, throwing his arms around San’s neck, “Thanks Uncle Sannie!” 

The two part, and San stays crouched. Wooyoung watches as Seojun talks to the alpha, from describing a deer he’d seen through the trees to how Seonghwa and Hongjoong had let him go with them on their rounds of the village this morning, both of them holding his hands as he tried to run ahead and make sure everyone’s cared for like the leaders do. San listens with the utmost attention, asking questions that spur on Seojun’s excited stream of consciousness. It makes something twisted pierce through Wooyoung’s chest. 

“Seojun, what did I tell you about running off like that?” Yeosang’s stern voice announces his presence as the omega approaches them. 

“Sorry mommy.” Seojun returns to Yeosang’s side. 

San slips an arm around Wooyoung’s waist as Yeosang’s focus shifts to them. 

“How are you guys?” 

They fall into light conversation as they get their food, floating through topics. They find a table already occupied by Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho, sitting down to join them with warm greetings. For the first few minutes they all eat, complimenting Yunho on his cooking like they always do. It’s pure comfort, as Wooyoung sits among the voices of his pack and closest friends. 

Yunho and Mingi dote on Seojun, the two mates making sure he has enough to eat, Jongho and San get lost in conversation, and Yeosang turns towards Wooyoung with a smile. Seonghwa and Hongjoong show up soon after, taking up the empty seats at the table, the beta carrying a plate with him.

“Joong, you’re not eating?” Wooyoung asks, eyeing the empty space on the wood in front of the head alpha. 

“Oh, I’m not hungry.” Hongjoong offers as simple explanation, but it doesn’t sit right with Wooyoung. He can tell the others sense something similar, their faces unsure as they pick their conversation back up. 

When they’re finished with dinner, the group standing to help clean up, Wooyoung sees Hongjoong pull San aside, away from the rest of the pack. Pausing, he watches the two alphas talk, both of their bodies rigid with tension. He can feel anxiety radiating off of San through their bond, and he wants nothing more than to go wrap himself around the alpha until his worries disappear, but his attention is pulled from the alphas by Yeosang, who walks to his side. 

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” 

Wooyoung sees every sign of worry in his best friend, and he frowns, concern curling through him. Out of the corner of his eye he sees San’s head turn towards him, but he keeps his attention on Yeosang. 

“Of course, do you want to go on a walk?” 

Yeosang nods, and the pair leave behind the bustle of the pack still cleaning up dinner. They fall into slow steps on the outskirts of the village, Wooyoung waiting patiently for Yeosang to say what’s on his mind. He can feel Yeosang’s agitation next to him, his scent sour with unease, and Wooyoung grabs his hand, holding it tightly. Yeosang takes a deep breath. 

“I love Jongho.” 

Wooyoung waits for there to be more, but Yeosang stays quiet as they venture into the trees. 

“Yeah, I know you do Yeo.” The end of his statement turns up in a question. 

“I love Jongho,” Yeosang repeats, “but lately, I don’t know what to do with him-” He chokes off, tears falling from his eyes. 

Wooyoung stills, turning towards the omega and pulling him in, hugging him firmly. Yeosang hangs onto him like a lifeline, a couple sobs escaping his lips, his nose against his neck. 

“It’s okay, come here.” Wooyoung separates and leads them both to sit down on a patch of grass, letting Yeosang catch his breath. “What’s wrong Sangie?” 

“It’s about Seojun.” Yeosang’s voice is still shaky as he starts, “Now that he’s getting older, we’ve started teaching him about the sub genders, but the things Jongho has been teaching him, it’s just- I’m not okay with it, at all, but I don’t know how to tell him that.” 

He takes another couple breaths, collecting his thoughts, Wooyoung holding onto his hand. 

“It’s not the whole ‘omegas have to submit to any alpha’ bullshit- I know he’s never thought that, but there’s still stereotypes and ancient rules that our old pack taught, that he’s now trying to teach our son. Things like omegas are inherently weak, and should only stick to smaller, less important jobs that they can handle. Seojun is fascinated by hunting, but Jongho’s convinced he’ll be an omega like me, and he won’t let him anywhere near it, won’t answer any of his questions, won’t let him explore or play or be curious.” 

A couple more streams of tears flow down Yeosang’s cheeks. 

“I know Jongho loves me and Seojun more than anything, I’ve never doubted that, and I know he thinks what he’s doing will keep Seojun safe if he turns out to be an omega, but I can’t help but feel like he values omegas as less than alphas, and even betas, and that’s not his fault, but I don’t- I don’t know how to just be okay with that.” 

Another sob tears from Yeosang’s throat, and Wooyoung pulls him close again, lets him rest against his shoulder and breathe in his scent while he runs his hand over his friend’s back, carding his fingers through his hair.

“Yeosang, no matter how much Jongho loves you, and you love him, if there’s one thing San’s taught me, it’s that you should never be okay with him making you feel lesser than anyone else, no matter what. You should be held above everybody in his eyes, and he should treat you and Seojun the exact same as any alpha or beta. Better even.”

Yeosang stays slumped against Wooyoung, sighing against him, “So what should I do?” 

“Well, I think the only thing you can do is talk to him. I know it’ll be hard, but you need to do it, for yourself, for your relationship, and for Seojun. I know he truly does love both of you, and he’ll listen. I know you guys can work through this.” Wooyoung holds onto Yeosang, keeping him close, keeping the thought that if Jongho doesn’t do exactly that then he’ll protect Yeosang to his last breath. 

“I can’t lose him, Woo.” Yeosang breathes against his neck.

“I know. Just talk to him, you won’t have to.” 

After another minute Yeosang pulls back, not moving far away, but enough to look at Wooyoung, his eyes red rimmed but far less troubled. 

“Thank you.” His lips pull up in a small smile. 

Wooyoung returns it with his own, “Of course Yeo, I’m always here for you.” 

Yeosang wipes the tears from his cheeks, a couple moments of silence passing between them, “Are you supposed to start your heat soon? You reek.” His voice returns to its usual playful bite. 

With a scoff Wooyoung pushes Yeosang away from him, making the other omega laugh. Wooyoung stands, extending his hand to help Yeosang do the same, and their hands still clasped, they walk back to join the rest of their pack. 

  
  


Two days later, Wooyoung sweats buckets while he works in the fields. Clouds obscure the sun, a breeze drifting over him, but he still feels like he’s burning from the inside out, sweat sticking his clothes and hair to his skin. He should’ve guessed sooner, but there’s no doubt left when a knot starts tightening in his gut, twisting until he nearly doubles over with pain.

He’s able to finish his tasks for the day, his legs wobbly as he seeks out San the second he puts his tools away. He feels like he could collapse when he approaches the alpha among the huts on his way to get dinner, his cinnamon scent nearly making Wooyoung’s knees buckle under him. He can imagine how pale and tacky his skin looks, his eyes blown wide. 

San’s head snaps towards him the second he gets close enough for his heat soaked scent to reach him, the alpha’s eyes dark and blazing with fire, his shoulders squaring. 

“Sannie.” Wooyoung whimpers, his hands shaking and stomach churning with uncomfortable arousal. 

Wooyoung can sense the way San tears himself in two, can feel the drive to breed and protect his mate warring with his gentle concern over his well being. Ultimately his eyes soften, and he lets his comforting pheromones wrap around Wooyoung, who sighs. 

“I know Woo, I’ll take care of you. But you should come eat some dinner first, while you’re still able to.” San’s voice is delicate and caring in every way Wooyoung needs. 

He still shakes his head in protest, his omega screaming to let his alpha take him and do nothing else, fever igniting his blood. 

“I’m sorry baby, but you’ll need it. We’ll eat fast, I promise.” San tugs on Wooyoung’s hand, and he reluctantly follows, sticking to the alpha’s side and refusing to part even an inch. 

By the time they’re sitting at their usual table, plates of food in front of them, the other six sitting around them, Wooyoung is a shaking mess, whimpers threatening to climb up his throat. He pushes them down by forcing himself to eat bites of his meal, no matter how much his stomach attempts to reject it. If not for himself, then for San, who doesn’t seem to be faring much better than him but who’s prioritizing his health regardless. 

Wooyoung knows their friends are walking on eggshells around them, aware of the way San’s glaring at anyone who so much as looks at him for too long, growling when someone gets too close. The display of dominance only makes Wooyoung’s omega crave him that much more, and he pushes his plate away, squirming in his seat. 

Another pulse of agony coils in his gut, mind numbing arousal accompanying it, his hole far too empty as a wave of slick flows from it. He knows San can smell it, the alpha’s cinnamon scent growing dark, his hands tightening into fists on the table until his knuckles turn white, another deep growl in his chest. 

“Okay, I swear to god if you two don’t get out of here right now I’m going to kill you.” Hongjoong finally addresses the elephant in the room.

It turns out it was the wrong choice of words, San snarling at the head alpha at the thought of him touching his mate, standing from his seat with his shoulders squared and challenging dominance on full display.

Yunho jumps from his own seat to place a warning hand on the riled alpha’s shoulder, “San, don’t.”

Wooyoung wants to apologize to Hongjoong on their behalf, but his dry mouth and fuzzy head can’t find the words. Instead of snapping at the insubordinate display, Hongjoong doesn’t even bat an eye.

“San, I’m not going to touch him. I just mean neither of you are in your right minds, so go to your hut and someone will bring you more food a little later.” 

San nods stiffly, and Wooyoung scrambles out of his seat, his heart pounding in his chest as they hurry through the village, every step burning, San’s hands never leaving him. Slick is leaking steadily out of his hole, coating his thighs, and he feels like he could cry by the time they finally stumble into their hut.

Wooyoung shoves San against the door, his hands tearing at the alpha’s clothes, consumed by the need to be pressed against him, to feel him on him, around him, inside him. He crashes their lips together in a sloppy tangle of tongues, the taste of San making Wooyoung’s cock ache. They struggle to get each other’s clothes off without parting, and San growls unhappily when it takes too long, Wooyoung hearing something rip with the force. Wooyoung gasps when they press against each other again, his skin aflame against San’s. 

“Alpha, please.” Wooyoung begs, the pain nearly unbearable, slick dripping out of his hole and his cock throbbing.

With a snarl San hoists Wooyoung up, his hands splayed over his ass, the omega immediately wrapping his legs around his hips. San attaches his lips to Wooyoung’s neck, sucking harshly, his tongue running hot and wet over his mating mark, nibbling at his scent gland, making him buck against the alpha with a lewd moan. Wooyoung can practically taste cinnamon, the scent mixing with his own and making his head spin with desire. 

He ruts against the smooth muscle of San’s stomach, his hands clawing at his skin, his cock leaking while slick pours out of his hole, the friction tingling but not enough, making him whimper for more. 

“You’re  _ mine. _ ” San growls against his neck. 

“Fuck- yours, only yours. Please fuck me, breed me. Need your knot alpha-” Wooyoung couldn’t stop his stream of words if he tried, his head pounding with need and his body melting with heat.

San bites down on Wooyoung’s neck at the same time as he lines up his cock and thrusts it into Wooyoung’s hole in one rough slide, smoothed by the omega’s slick. It’s tight as Wooyoung’s body accommodates San’s thick length, but it’s exactly what he needs, and his alpha knows it. Wooyoung cries out, every cell in him lighting up with searing pleasure, his body finally filled the way it demands. San pulls out before slamming in again, digging his fingers into Wooyoung’s skin as he holds him still to piston his hips into him. 

“You feel so good- take my cock so well, fuck.” San’s voice is like gravel, fucked raw and mindless. 

Wooyoung can feel every inch of San’s cock stroking his walls, stretching his hole, stuffing him full, the head of it pressing against his stomach from the inside, making his vision spot. 

“Gonna- fuck! Gonna come.” Wooyoung pants, the hot coil in his gut building with every thrust of San’s cock and the harsh pants of the alpha’s breath against his neck.

In response San wraps his hand around Wooyoung’s cock, pumping it in time with his hips. He continues licking and sucking at Wooyoung’s neck, and Wooyoung’s mind turns to mush, his blood rushing in his ears and pleasure sizzling through his veins. He comes with San’s name on his lips, white roping over his stomach, his hole clenching around San’s cock, making his hips stutter with a low groan. 

Wooyoung’s chest is heaving as he comes down from the force of his orgasm, but the overwhelming need still lingers in his core, and he bucks against San again, begging him to move, to satisfy his omega. The last thing Wooyoung expects San to do is pull out of him, and he lets out a loud whine, squirming in the alpha’s hold, the loss making his stomach twist. 

“Shh, I’ve got you.” San coos, his hands wandering over Wooyoung’s flaming skin, calming him.

He carries Wooyoung to the bed, laying him on it and crawling over him, his eyes devouring him. He kisses Wooyoung deep and slow, searching his mouth, Wooyoung arching his back to get San pressed against him again. 

Smirking at Wooyoung’s desperation, San kisses his way down his body, lips and tongue sliding over everywhere he can reach, teeth nipping at his collarbones, his nipples, his hips. Every touch makes Wooyoung tremble, gasps leaving his lips, arousal flooding over him in a torrential downpour. 

When San runs his tongue over Wooyoung’s stomach, licking up the come smeared over it, Wooyoung mewls, the sight disgustingly filthy, going straight to his already swollen dick. His mind all but shuts down when San moves lower, his lips wrapping around Wooyoung’s cock. He can feel his own come still held in San’s mouth, coating him as San takes him until the head hits the back of his throat. 

Wooyoung’s hands tangle in San’s hair, gripping and tugging to ground himself as he fights a losing battle over the fog of pleasure clouding his mind. San bobs his head on his cock, the hot suction making an inferno lick up his spine and spread on his nerves, curling his toes. It’s wet and messy, and Wooyoung could lose himself to the feeling if it weren’t for the aching emptiness in his gut. 

San swallows around him, his throat constricting, making Wooyoung’s hips buck up before he pulls off of him, licking up every last drop of come. He doesn’t give Wooyoung a chance to catch his breath or even have a coherent thought before he’s dipping lower, Wooyoung lifting his legs and spreading them wider in a silent plea for San to do something, anything. 

San licks a stripe over his hole, humming in appreciation as he laps up his slick, teasing his rim with the tip before letting it slide in. Wooyoung gasps as San pushes it into him deeper, the feeling warm and tingling, adding to the wetness already soaking his skin. San fucks him with his tongue until he’s whining and pleading with every breath, reduced to a begging mess pressing his ass down onto San’s face. 

Although his mind that’s capable of thinking clearly was left with the pile of their clothes on the floor, Wooyoung still feels appreciation nestle in his heart that even while he has an omega in the thick of heat in front of him, his alpha still takes the time to worship his body, breathing pleasure into him until he feels nothing less than ecstasy. 

He feels like he could cry by the time San takes mercy on him, pulling his tongue out of him and crawling back up his body. Wooyoung tastes the sweet stickiness of his own slick when San kisses him, sharing it between them, making his cock ache and hole clench around nothing. 

“P-Please, need you.” Wooyoung whimpers against San’s mouth.

When San lines up and pushes into him, Wooyoung’s whole body jolts with the spine tingling feeling of being full again. San fucks into him with low growls bubbling up his throat, his hands gripping Wooyoung’s hips to pull him back onto his cock, his tongue licking up the sweat on Wooyoung’s chest. 

Wooyoung can’t hold back the endless stream of moans as San’s cock hits his prostate with every snap of his hips, his nerves flashing white hot to curl in his gut. His mind fills with everything San, suffocating on the smell of cinnamon and slick and sex, and he never wants to breathe in anything else.

San’s knot starts to grow, catching on Wooyoung's rim every time he slides his cock out, the alpha clearly falling apart as he nears his breaking point, his hips speeding up and eyes on fire. Tears slip down Wooyoung’s cheeks as the last of his control slips from his hands, stolen by San pounding him into the bed without mercy.

“Wanna watch you gonna come on my cock while I knot you.” San growls between his teeth. 

“Yes- fuck, please alpha, right there don’t stop, feels so good.” More tears slip down Wooyoung’s cheeks, everything swirling into a haze of heat. 

San leans over him, lips brushing his ear, “My perfect omega.  _ Mine. _ ” 

He snaps his hips harshly, his cock reaching every spot deep inside Wooyoung that makes him understand what heaven feels like, floating through pleasure that burns him from the inside. When San bites over Wooyoung’s healed mating mark, his cock nestled against his prostate, Wooyoung’s tether snaps and he comes again, eyes screwed shut and mouth falling open in a silent scream, his body igniting into ruined remnants that still whimper San’s name. 

San follows soon after, hips snapping before they stutter, and Wooyoung moans at the feeling of being filled with his warm come so deep he can almost feel it in his stomach. San’s knot locks them together, both of them panting and covered in sweat. 

Wooyoung can’t move his limbs, still buzzing with energy in the aftermath of pleasure. His skin cools, and he sighs, his heat broken for now. 

“You okay?” San’s voice is gentle and soft, in direct contrast to only minutes before. 

“I'm perfect.” Wooyoung smiles, looking into San’s eyes that have returned to their melted chocolate warmth. 

San kisses him, and Wooyoung hums as everything in him sings with the pure euphoria poured into the bond from both of them, connected body and soul. 

“I love you Sannie.” Wooyoung sighs, his eyes falling closed. 

“I love you too baby. Get some sleep.” San whispers, a small smile on his lips. 

He moves them both onto their sides, shifting until they're comfortable. Wooyoung nestles against San’s warm chest, the scent of cinnamon and the feeling of his alpha around him making him feel utterly safe and thoroughly exhausted. The last thing he's aware of is San pushing his sweaty hair out of his face and placing a light kiss on his cheek before he's lost to the world. 

  
  


Even after years, Wooyoung’s heats with San never dull in intensity, never pale compared to the first. San never ceases to know every way to set Wooyoung on fire, to reduce him to a puddle of pleasure under him, the exact way to touch and talk to him that gets him babbling and begging. 

The following days are lost to the haze of heat, Wooyoung aware of nothing but San, being full, and cinnamon flooding his senses. Every waking moment is spent with San inside him, only an occasional break where San’s able to convince him to eat or his fatigued mind forces him to sleep. His muscles ache every time he’s knotted yet again, but his omega insists on nothing less. 

After thoroughly assuring Wooyoung that it’s alright to do so, San wakes up more often than not to the omega bouncing on his cock or pushing back to get it deeper, all fatigue vanishing from the alpha’s features as he snaps his hips hard enough to make Wooyoung cry with pleasure. San stops pulling out of him altogether, even when his knot lessens enough to allow him to, opting instead to stay inside the warm heat until Wooyoung’s squirming against him again, humming at the way he can feel San’s soft cock stiffen inside him.

By the time his fever breaks and he’s released from his heat’s clutches, he’s entirely drained, limbs weak and shaky. San doesn’t fare much better, notably sluggish when he still pushes himself to make sure Wooyoung’s taken care of in every possible way. Even after years, San never stops showering him in patience and strength and submerging him in love that he never wants to surface from.

Another heat’s passed, and Wooyoung’s left hopeful, determined to retain his defiant optimism. 

Three weeks later, San’s sleeping, dead to the world and none the wiser while Wooyoung slips out of their hut, his thoughts plaguing him, not allowing him to escape the storm. He can feel pressure well up behind his eyes, pain hacking and sawing at his ribs, and he knows he has to get out of the four walls or his inevitable sobs will rouse San from his sleep and plunge them into a conversation they’ve both poured their hearts and tears into time and time again. 

On unsteady legs he wanders through the village until they can’t hold his weight anymore and he collapses against a tree on the outskirts of the forest, his head in his hands. Any hope and optimism he once held fizzles to a burnt crisp, shriveled and lifeless where it settles like a dead weight in his chest, abandoning him with the tears that stream down his face, leaving him frozen solid.

The conversation he’d had with Yeosang following his third heat with San plays like a broken record, the way it does every time, returning to torment him without fail. 

_ San’s hand in his, jittery with nerves and anticipation mixed with curiosity and only slight embarrassment, Wooyoung had searched until he found Yeosang winding through the huts, enjoying the fresh air, Seojun wrapped in a blanket and cradled in his arms.  _

_ “Yeo, can I talk to you for a minute?” Wooyoung asked after greeting the omega. _

_ “Yeah, sure of course.” Yeosang stopped, turning towards him, his features open. _

_ Before either of them could further the conversation, San let go of Wooyoung’s hand and stepped forward. _

_ “Sorry, but- can I hold him?” The alpha asked, a smile on his lips, his eyes sparkling. _

_ Yeosang nodded with a small answering smile. San took Seojun from his arms gently, settling the baby in his own and rocking him softly. Wooyoung felt his chest fill with pride at the trust Yeosang was able to place in San with his son while the alpha walked a ways away to give them privacy to talk, a bounce in his steps as he cooed to Seojun.  _

_ “So what’s up?” Yeosang’s eyes shifted to Wooyoung from where they’d been trailing after San.  _

_ “It’s just that I’ve had a few heats with San now, and after every one I wait for something to happen, and nothing does, but I don’t even know what I’m waiting for.” Wooyoung frowned, his question obscured in the memory of frustration that had started following his heats.  _

_ Yeosang simply waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts and set them in a row. _

_ “I guess I’m wondering, when did you know for sure that you were pregnant? And how did you know? What did it feel like at first?” Wooyoung unloaded the questions that had been bouncing around his head for weeks.  _

_ Yeosang nodded in understanding, looking up while he rolled the questions around before he answered, “It was about two weeks after my heat that I first noticed it. I started feeling nauseous all the time, I had aches all over, and I had terrible mood swings. But the biggest thing was my scent. Jongho noticed it around that same time, he kept commenting on it, started scenting me a lot too, but I didn’t tell him I thought it was because I was pregnant since it was around the same time we were trying to help you and escape.”  _

_ Wooyoung winced at the memory, but then focused on storing the information he’d told him away. _

_ “That’s good to know.” He commented, his mind racing to think if he’d been feeling any of those things recently and coming up empty, “I’m just starting to get worried.”  _

_ “Why, what’s wrong?”  _

_ “I just thought I’d be pregnant by now, I don’t know.” Wooyoung muttered.  _

_ “It’s different for everyone, sometimes it takes a little longer. I’d give it some more time.” Yeosang offered him a reassuring smile, and Wooyoung felt the knot in his chest loosen slightly, aided by his best friend’s calming lavender.  _

_ “I just can’t stop worrying about it.”  _

_ “I know, but it’ll be okay, you’ll see. Have you talked to San about this?”  _

_ “No, I’ve been trying to be patient, but I know he’s sensed something’s wrong.”  _

_ “You should talk to him, you know he’d want to help.”  _

_ “Yeah, I know, I will. Thank you Sangie, you’ve already helped so much.” Wooyoung’s frown turns up, and he can breathe a little easier, think a little clearer.  _

_ “Of course Woo.”  _

_ Wooyoung pulled Yeosang into a tight hug, his nose against his neck, relief and appreciation tugging at his heart. _

_ He glanced up at San, who caught his eye before walking back over to them and slipping an arm around Wooyoung’s waist. Wooyoung looked down at the baby still held in San’s arms, and pressed against his alpha’s side, for just a moment, he let himself indulge in the fantasy that they had a son or a daughter of their own, pieces of himself and his mate lovingly crafted into a new soul that they get to cherish. _

  
  


After that day, Wooyoung spent countless heats remembering his friend’s words. In the weeks after every heat he’d analyze even the smallest feeling, heart jumping at a curl in his stomach, gut dropping in excitement if his back twinged, hope spiking if he felt particularly snippy one day. Weeks bled into months, and he clutched his hope with white knuckles, refusing to face reality every time another heat passed and he ultimately never felt any different.

However, he couldn’t keep the waves of doubt that crashed against the shores of his mind from wearing down the foundation of optimism he’d built. As the years dragged on, thoughts of his worst nightmare started worming their way into his skull, making dread take root in his lungs. When he finally voiced his fear to San, the alpha was the definition of caring and understanding, assuring him a thousand times, a million times and more that whether Wooyoung got pregnant or not, he’d love him just the same and he was still worth the world. 

Wooyoung genuinely tried to absorb San’s words, to let them soak in and hush the blaring doubt, but then another heat would pass and he would be thrust right back into the pit of despair he descended into when he was left barren and hollow, an aching space carved into him that he couldn’t fill with any amount of soothing words from his mate.

The only thing that would make him feel whole never comes, and the years corrode him until he’s left feeling fractured into irreparable shards that stab into his heart, making him bleed out. The whispers in his head become shrieks, unable to be ignored any longer, convincing him he’s worthless, useless, a broken shell of a wolf that takes up more space than they’re worth. 

That’s why he finds himself in the pitch black of the woods, rough bark scraping against his back as he sobs into his hands, his chest heaving, because no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, and waits, and hopes, he still can’t do the one thing he was made to do. He’ll still never be able to get pregnant, the harsh realization slowly constricting around his throat until his world feels as dark as the sky around him, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, first chapter done!! I’d love to hear your thoughts on the start of this and what you think is going to happen. 
> 
> I’m starting a new job and moving into a new house right now, but I promise I won’t leave you guys hanging for too long. 
> 
> P.S. This is in celebration of Ateez comeback in 4 hours! Let’s all scream together!!


End file.
